Parent of the Month - January 2007
Jane Fuller

 

1. Can you give us your philosophy on being a great tennis parent?

My philosophy is pretty simple – support your child, love them, and be there for them when they need you. Give them the opportunity to learn the game and have fun playing tennis. Parents need to support their child’s interests, whether they are recreational players or serious competitors. Also, make sure that they are playing the sport for themselves and not for you. Most kids don’t do too well if they are playing the game to satisfy their parents and not themselves.

2. How have you changed as a tennis parent from when your kids first began playing tournaments?

Tournament tennis can be a challenge for the parents as well as for the kids!! When our girls started playing, Kari was 13, Kristen was 11 and Kate was 7. There were no satellite tournaments, so they had to jump right in with more experienced kids. Kari and Kristen only won one match their entire first 6 months of playing tournaments!! Once they started winning though, I let myself get a little too involved in their play. Kari once told me, after she had lost a match, to never come watch her play again! She could see from the court that I was agonizing over every point. It made her nervous and upset to think that I was evaluating every point she played and being so judgmental about how l she was playing. And I just thought I was being supportive!! I learned a lot from that, and now I always take a newspaper, a book, or an ipod, just so that I can look at something else other than the court now and then! The kids need to know that you are there to support them and cheer them on, but they don’t need to see you react to every point and feel any pressure from you

3. If you could go back and start over, what would you do differently?

I don’t think that Jim and I would do anything differently. I would just make sure to enjoy every minute and not get so nervous about my kids playing matches. Looking back, I see how fast it goes and how easily you can get caught up in the short term and the wins and losses. Being disappointed or bummed out when your child loses a match is just really wasted energy. As long as your child is having fun and wants to continue to play tennis, that’s really all that matters. I really do have more fun at the tournaments than I used to – and I think that the kids enjoy it more if you’re less focused on the results and more focused on the process.

4. Can you give an example of what you would say to Kate after a bad loss or a great win?

I would say the same thing to Kate whether she wins or loses – "good match and I’m proud of you!”

5. Having had 3 juniors in the tournament scene, what advice would you give to a parent or parents who have juniors just beginning to play tournaments?

I would just say to have fun!! Smile a lot when you go to the tournaments with your child. Enjoy watching them play, keep things light, and look for the positives in their matches. Don’t get too caught up in wins or losses, whether they’re just starting or have been playing for years. Don’t try to coach your child before he goes on the court or after he comes off – let the child’s personal coach direct his play, and trust the coach’s advice. Be supportive and let your child know that tennis is something they do, not who they are. It’s all about the process, learning as you go, and enjoying a lifetime sport with them!